Getting man boobs before you become a 12 year old girl Sucks.
Finding that your pant size doesn't change they only slip down further Sucks,
My pants have just bypassed my hips altogether, its a futile exercise to pray for it not to happen it just does. my pants are now heading south to the ample fat lands of the thighs, where I'm sure they will perch until rigamortis sets in.
Yes, there are joys that come with getting older, i just haven't figured out what yet!...
"having kids" they say, I say "nay nay",
kids are a natural progression to life, you meet a girl, you date, get married,
and just when you think your happy, one or both of you decide on the inevitable conclusion
that its now time to have children.
Not to sure how this all happened!
One minute i'm Djing and clubbing, the next i was woken by the thumping of a 4 year old on my back whilst pulling my eye lids open and informing me that i have slept enough and its time to be used as a pinata
all within a space of thinking i was cool to knowing that i was wasn't.
Its amazing even at the age of almost 40, being cool is still important. but as the afore mentioned body changes happen, so your once precious ideologies of Cooldum dissipates.
Don't get me wrong, i love my boys and i love being a father! but fathers aren't cool they just "Dads" certainly not cool just useful beings for bringing home food and cash.
it seems hard to reconcile the fact that the 80's are indeed over and the hay days or the 90's are over, that clubbing is over and raving till 6am is way over.
I've tried a few times to relive the hay days but sadly you only end up with horrid hangovers for 2 days, sore feet and the urge to watch discovery channel.
So the question is, "how the hell did it all happen".
Simple answer, I said "Yes"
I was there there, i heard myself say it, "Yes"..
Yes, to the question to date
Yes, to the question to get married.
Yes, to the question the priest asked.
Yes, to the question on the mortgage forms.
Yes, to having Children.
that's when the yeses stopped, and then i learned a few knew words.... "No" and "stop that" and
"stop touching your brother"
"get off him!, you going to squash him and he will die, then I will have to kill you and make another one just like you so your mother doesn't find out and kill me" ......
from that point onwards, Yes was replaced with No.
No, I didn't say Yes to wiping poop off the toilet seat, bath and sink when Jr decided to go fetch a toy half way through a poop session!
No, I didn't say Yes to Watching Barney, i've read the Prenup over and over, and Barney wasn't in any clause.
No, I didn't know that i won't be able to eat all things i did in the 90's in the year 2010 and not suffer the consequences.
Someone should have told us, it should be in a ADHD user friendly pamphlet of some nature.
it should say on a Macdonalds box, "Eating this crap for 10 years, could result in you not seeing your willie without a mirror ever again"
According to a study done by interviewing 2 boys ages 4 and 8, Food isn't good unless it has a toy in it!
No, life will never be the same again, thank God.....
we cant all be cool, rich and successful.
Well he Can!
the picture - his night light was on and it made more sense to put shades on than turn the light off.
told you - Cool very Cool.
